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Dr Jim, Counsellor therapist Hebden Bridge

ABC Counselling and Psychotherapy Services – In Hebden Bridge, HX7 8HJ – West Yorkshire – Near Halifax…

… And all over the world via Skype/ Zoom/ Webcam/ Telephone and Email counselling…

With Dr Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling

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What is cognitive-emotive counselling, and why do we need it?

For a full page of information about cognitive-emotive counselling and therapy, please go to About Cognitive-Emotive counselling.***

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The client’s problems and tasks of counselling

The best way to understand the need for counselling and therapy is that, in the majority of cases, the client has most likely got one or more of the following problems.

happy black woman drinking wine with boyfriend
Photo by Andres Ayrton on Pexels.com

(There may be some problems which cannot be subsumed under one of the following headings, but not many).

(a) They had a maladaptive relationship to mum and/or dad when they were a baby/infant/child, and this has not yet been fully resolved through subsequent corrective relationships.

(b) The individual’s coping resources may be inadequate to cope with the various and very real external pressures bearing down upon them in their daily lives.

(c) They have repressed some significant emotional experiences – like traumas – out of conscious awareness, and they are now driven by those repressed experiences into acting dysfunctionally.

(d) They have poorly developed social/emotional intelligence, which causes them to mismanage their relationships, at home and/or in work.

(e) Their ‘appetitive part’ (or Child ego state [Berne]) is too powerful relative to the other two parts: which are, the Parent ego state and the Adult ego state.  (Result: Too aggressive. Or narcissistic. They are too high on ‘Bad Wolf’! [In E-CENT theory, every individual is assumed to have innate tendencies towards virtue and vice – good and evil – which I characterized using the Cherokee concept of ‘Two wolves fighting inside’]. See the tenth principle of E-CENT theory, in Chapter 3, below).

(f) Their ‘Parent ego state’ is too punitive in relation to their Child ego state, resulting in excessive and inappropriate guilt, shame and anxiety, and ego weaknesses. (They are too conformist, passive, victim-playing, and long-suffering; fearful, timid and/or paranoid.  They lack self-confidence or show low self-esteem).

(g) They have experienced some loss or failure; or threat or danger; or insult or frustration; such that they have over-reacted emotionally, and they need to learn how to respond with a more appropriate emotion.  They need ‘external affect regulation’ assistance from the counsellor, which they will, in time, internalize, so that can better self-regulate their own emotional responses. (Hill, 2015).

(h) They are trying to get from where they are to some new place in their life, but they have no map of the potential journey; and no idea how to construct such a map.

(i) They are neglecting their physical health needs, by failing to engage in regular physical exercise; eating a junk food diet; not drinking enough water; not getting adequate sleep; not taking essential nutritional supplements; and so on.

(j) They are socially isolated; or living in hostile surroundings; or cut off from work or other forms of useful activity.

(k) And, more generally, they tend to respond to stressful stimuli with either over-aroused emotions (of anger or anxiety), or under-aroused emotions (of sadness, grief, depression and hurt).  (See item (g) above).

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What is the role of the counsellor in cognitive-emotive counselling?

The role of the counsellor (from an E-CENT perspective) is then, to perform some or all of the following tasks:

couple talking with therapist
Photo by Polina Zimmerman on Pexels.com

(a) To act as a ‘safe harbour’ and a ‘secure base’ – or temporary, ‘good enough’ mother (and father) substitute – for the client; so they can learn to feel ‘securely attached’ to the counsellor.  Once this secure attachment has been achieved – which is called ‘earned security’ – the client can generalize this new way of relating to include the significant other people in their life. (Wallin, 2007).

(b) To reflect the client back to themselves in a more realistic form – (not too big, not too small) – than was done for them by their mother/ father/ teachers.

(c) To speak to the client in a feeling language, providing them with a warm, helpful relationship, which is also educative and supportive. (Hobson, 2000).

(d) To explore the client’s diet and physical exercise practices; self-talk (or ‘inner dialogue’); relaxation practices; relationship skills; sleep pattern; and so on: with a view to helping them to improve their coping resources for dealing with daily stressors. (Taylor-Byrne and Byrne, 2017; and Chapters 4 and 5, below).

(e) To explore some of their key stories to see what kinds of painful experiences they need to reframe and digest from the past.  (See Chapter 6 below). This involves integration of the left and right hemispheres of their brain, or “naming the emotions in order to tame them” (Siegel, 2015). This is how they learn to soothe their dysregulated emotions (or to regulate their affects). 

(f) To help the client to develop an understanding of their own feelings, and the feelings of others; and how to communicate effectively about emotional matters. To provide some emotional education; and to help the client to update their map of their social and emotional world. To help them to understand social relationships.

(g) To help the client to grow their Adult ego state; to shrink their Parent and Child ego states; and to learn to communicate assertively rather than passively or aggressively. And to find ways of ‘cutting the ties’ from destructive parent figures (where appropriate).

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Blue logo Dr Jim ByrneDo you want to be happier? (If so, my system of counselling can help you).

Do you want to be emotionally and physically healthier? (My system of psychotherapy can help with that goal).

And/ or do you want to have a more successful relationship with the person you love? (My approach to couples therapy can help with that journey of discovery!)

For more than 23 years, individuals and couples have been consulting me for help with all kinds of problems of unhappiness, related to their thinking, feelings, behaviours and relationships (in the past and the present). Also with problems of attachment, trauma, personality maladaptation, anger management; anxiety and depression; and lifestyle problems.  And they write to me to tell me what they got from working with me.***

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My main service is more than just counselling and psychotherapy.  I offer:

  1. An assessment service, involving two or more questionnaires (and possibly up to six or seven, depending on your presenting problem), which will help me to get to the bottom of your presenting problem;
  2. An initial meeting (for 45-60 minutes) which will be partly a follow-up to the questionnaire assessments; and partly a therapeutic encounter;
  3. A Session Review and Assessment Summary Report, which I write after our first meeting; and which summarizes all I have learned about you from the formal and informal assessments. And this report also contains a list of the written resources that I will send to you over the subsequent 28-30 days. (See next item).
  4. Followed by 5 or 6 or 7 informational/ psycho-educational documents, sent to you at approximately four-day intervals;
  5. Which is then followed by a second meeting, (of 45-60 minutes), during which we can get deeper into who you are, and how you are; and build upon the learning you have been doing during the previous month, based on my follow-up informational handouts.
  6. And again, this is followed by a report which adds to your knowledge of yourself, and lists the resources that I will send over the next 28-30 days.

(That describes one complete “cycle” of my Main Service. And you can repeat the cycle if you wish).

I did not realize how much hard work – time-consuming, meticulous investigation, analysis, and report writing; and psycho-educational document writing – I was creating for myself, when I designed my Main Service, described above. My hourly rate of pay is probably significantly lower than the average counsellor; but because of the amount of work I do for you, as outlined above, you have to pay an apparently higher fee to get this unique, high-value service!

Doctor Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling, November 2021

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Dr Jim in North YorkshireCounselling is a wonderful twentieth century invention, which we have evolved for the twenty-first century. And I (Dr Jim Byrne) have developed the most holistic (or complete) model of counselling psychology – (including the body, brain and mind, and social environment of the client; and their attachment history and personality adaptations) – in collaboration with Renata Taylor-Byrne.  And I have also developed the most comprehensive approach to delivering counselling/therapeutic results to my clients, using the enhanced assessment/meeting/report/follow-up documents structure described above.

To consult me, please email me – Dr Jim Byrne:

Blue logo Dr Jim ByrneEmail me on Jim’s ABC Email address.

Or phone me on 01422 843629 (from inside the UK)

Or on 44 1422 843 629 (from outside the UK)

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Hello and welcome to my website.

To celebrate the ending of the Covid-19 lockdown rules, and to acknowledge the current financial difficulties that we all face, I am offering two reductions in my fees, for new clients who commence counselling with me after the 12th August:

  1. The first is that I am reducing the cost of my Enhanced Main Service from £300.00 to £180.00. (Therefore, for the next several weeks, you can get one round of my Enhanced Main Service – which consists of: two face to face meetings, two reports, plus 10 to 14 follow-up psycho-educational documents – for just £180.00). This represents a saving of £120.00 for each round of this service that you undertake.
  2. And the second reduction is that, when you complete two rounds of my Enhanced Main Service, you get the third round free. This represents a saving of a further £300.00.
  3. So if you complete three rounds of my Enhanced Main Service, then you will save £420.00 (for new clients, for the next few weeks only).

In life, most often, you get what you pay for.  (For example, you cannot buy a chateaux for the price of a barn!) Don’t miss this opportunity to tap into my 40+ years of collecting wisdom about emotional, behavioural and relationship healing!

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For more information, please go to Dr Jim’s Counselling and Psychotherapy Division.***

Or take a look at this list of my main counselling specialisms:

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Dr-Jim-photo-cover002There are “long thin counsellors”, and “short fat counsellors” (meaning counsellors of various hues and orientations); and there are more than 400 different systems of counselling; and many, many variations upon each of those 400 systems, depending on the personality and life history of the individual counsellor. So make sure you choose your counsellor wisely!

Here is an important question for you:

“Why is your life not working well; not working optimally; not giving you the satisfaction you desire?”

If I, as your counsellor, asked you that question, you would make up a plausible answer, but it would almost certainly be wrong! (To review the scientific proof of this statement, please see the two books and one scientific article in Footnote 1 below[1]).

1, Habits and social influenceMy way of understanding this problem is this: I believe all humans (including me!) function largely non-consciously, as creatures of habit! And we view the world – non-consciously – through frames of reference derived (interpretively and automatically) from our past (social) experiences. And these narratives are emotive or feeling stories, which provide meaning and structure to the life of the social-individual.

It has long been known in psychology and philosophy that humans have to interpret their experiences.  That our interpretations are instantaneous, and that we do not see the things and events to which we respond, but rather do we see our interpretations, heavily coloured by our past experiences.

The-Structure-of-Magic-Bandler-GrinderRichard Bandler and John Grinder[2], the creators of Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) go further and claim that we humans go through the following stages in our interpretations:

Firstly, we have an experience, but then we delete some elements of our perception of that experience. (Presumably, we keep the elements which seem familiar from past experience).

Secondly, we then distort what we retain. (Presumably to fit with our feelings about this ‘thing/event’).

Thirdly, and finally, we then generalize from that distorted perception. (Presumably in order to have a set-piece way of responding to future appearances of that ‘perception’).

So, if Bandler and Grinder are right, then this is a big problem.

If I ask you the question we began with above, you will make up a story which seems to answer my question. But it will be based on your tendency to delete, distort and generalize.

But worse than that, I will then delete something from your story, distort what is left (to fit my models of human behaviour), and generalize from the resulting ‘story’, in order to project what I expect from you from this point onwards!

What a mess!

HOWEVER! Once I became aware of this serious problem of human communication, I began to develop a viable remedy, and I have succeeded in that mission.

Maxi-service Report CoverI now make sure that every client who comes to see me has completed a number of relevant questionnaires about their life history, lifestyle, current stressors, and so on. 

But don’t they simply introduce deletions, distortions and generalizations into those questionnaires?

I suppose they would if they could; but most psychological and scientific questionnaires, are designed to make it virtually impossible (and certainly very difficult!) for the person responding to them to figure out how to create a distortion that they would like.  So they have to simply answer the questions and hope for the best!

The questionnaires that I use with my client throw up all kinds of useful information that I might never have gained – in a month of Sundays – using non-formal, conversational assessment of the client’s problems within counselling sessions.

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Here’s a bit more information about me.

Dr-Jim-photo-cover002My name is Jim Byrne, and I have a doctoral degree in counselling from the University of Manchester (2003-2009).

Over the past 23 years, I have helped almost 1,200 counselling clients to resolve all kinds of unhappiness, including anger, anxiety, depression, stress, couple conflict, childhood trauma, and attachment issues, and so on. Many of them have written to me to thank me for my help.  Here is one example, and a link to some more:

♣ “Hi Jim, I’ve learned a lot from working through all the materials you’ve been sending to me over the past few weeks.  As we approach the end of the fourth week, I would like to make an appointment for a second session. … I think this service is great value for money, and your fees are well justified!”

V.F., Bradford, West Yorkshire. (One session of my main service, for personal and professional difficulties; including marriage problems).

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For more, go here: Unsolicited counselling client testimonials for Dr Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling.

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If you want to consult me, I would recommend that you try my Main Service, which has the following features:

  1. I will ask you for an indication of the areas of life with which you are struggling, and then I will send you a range of questionnaires (possibly three or four, or up to six or eight) to collect information about relevant aspects of your life circumstances, past, present and anticipated.
  2. I will review your completed questionnaires individually (and briefly) as I download them; and, if necessary, I will send additional questions to fill any obvious gaps in the accumulating information.
  3. I will then suggest some days/times for our first (of two) meetings. The first meeting will be partly a continuation of my assessment of your situation, and partly some early therapeutic interventions. (The second meeting will not take place for a further 28 days!)
  4. After the first meeting, I will reflect upon everything I have learned from your questionnaire responses, and also what I have learned from our meeting (face to face in Hebden Bridge, or over Skype, or over the Telephone system). Then I will write a Combined Session Review and Assessment Report, which will give you some preliminary insights into what I have discovered about where you are stuck, and how you can begin to move forward in your life. At the end of that report will be a list of six or seven documents (psycho-educational resources) which I will send to you over the subsequent 20+ days.
  5. After 28 days, we will meet up again, and this time we will be informed by all the reading you have done, and all the attempted behaviour change, or mood control strategies you have been experimenting with. At this stage, I will have more scope for therapeutic interventions. And, again, I will write a Session Review Report, and list those resources which will be sent to you over the following 28-30 days.
  6. If you find this two-month process to be helpful, you will most likely sign up for a second round – (comprising two meetings, two reports, plus 10 to 14 follow-up resources, etc.)

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Here is an insight into how some of my clients have found my Main Service:

♣ “Hello Jim. Thank you for your report and analysis of my relationship with Jane. (Not her real name – JB). Your insights and analysis are already helping us to understand ourselves and the way we’ve been relating to each other, which is making a difference. I feel confident that this will help us to create a stronger relationship”.

T.C., Crag Vale, Calderdale, West Yorkshire. (One session of my main service for couple conflict problems).

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♣ “Hi Jim, I’ve learned a lot from working through all the materials you’ve been sending to me over the past few weeks.  As we approach the end of the fourth week, I would like to make an appointment for a second session. … I think this service is great value for money, and your fees are well justified!”

V.F., Bradford, West Yorkshire. (One session of my main service, for personal and professional difficulties; including marriage problems).

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“Hi Jim, Thank you for the marathon effort you put into this report.  You have far exceeded my expectations, in terms of quality and quantity.  Some of the ‘teaching materials’ you have included speak directly to my learning needs. I certainly got my money’s worth, and then some! 🙂  And the report certainly clarified the central problem, and I have been able to come to a decision which was beyond my reach before consulting you. Obviously I’ve got tons of work to do on my relationship skills (as does Suzie [not her real name – JB]). Many thanks for all your time, talent, insights, thought and effort.  I greatly appreciate it.”

J.A.G., Littleborough, Lancs. October 2019.

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[1] Gladwell, M. (2006), BLINK: The power of thinking without thinking.  London: Penguin Books.

Gray, J. (2003), Straw Dogs: thoughts on humans and other animals.  London: Granta Books.

Maier, N.R.F. (1931), ‘Reasoning in Humans: II – The solution of a problem and its appearance in consciousness’.   Journal of Comparative Psychology, 12: 181-194.

The conclusion of those three sources is this: Humans are largely non-conscious creatures of habit, who make up stories to account for their actions, without realizing that the story is not accurate!

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[2] Bandler and Grinder (1975), The Structure of Magic, Volume 1. Palo Alto, CF: Science and Behaviour Books, In.  Chapter 4: Pages 57-106.

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To celebrate the ending of the Covid-19 lockdown rules, I am currently offering three sessions of my Main Service for the price of two.  (When you have completed two sessions of my Main Service, you will get the third session for free!) Click the link below for more information about my Counselling and Psychotherapy Division.

Telephone: 01422 843 629

Email: Dr Jim’s email address

For more information, please go to Dr Jim’s Counselling and Psychotherapy Division.***

Or take a look at this list of my main counselling specialisms:

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About Dr Jim Byrne

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Or take a look at this page: Counselling help for problems with anger, anxiety and trauma in the era of Covid-19…

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My Counselling Specialisms

drjim-counsellor9I offer counselling help with a broad range of problems and needs, across the following range of areas:

Anger management; anxiety counselling; assertiveness training; attachment problems; affect regulation theory; boosting immunity; calming down your nervous system; cancer support (as psychological first aid); career goal coaching; confidence building; chronic stress (management of); couples therapy; depression; emotional intelligence; emotional self-management; EMDR; exercise for physical and mental health; foods for physical and mental health; goal setting and achievement; habit change strategies; health coaching; interpersonal skills training; insomnia solutions; interpersonal communication skills; marriage guidance; nutrition and physical and mental health; panic attacks; personality adaptations; problem solving (emotional and general); relationship skills; rest and relaxation strategies; sleep science and insomnia; trauma processing; vitamins for physical and mental health; and many more besides.

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Why bother with counselling?

“Going into counselling” is a bit like going back to ‘Big School’ (but also ‘Kind School’), to catch up on some missing knowledge, skills or attitudes, which are causing problems in your life, which make you unhappy. However, it is also like entering a new, re-parenting relationship in which you can unlearn the unhelpful emotion-regulation strategies you learned from your mother (and father), and to learn some more effective ways to automatically damp down your overly-aroused emotions, or to crank up your depressed mood!

The aim is to learn those skills and attitudes, and the related knowledge, and then to move back into your normal life, more confident of being able to manage those problems which were causing you to feel sad or depressed, worried or anxious, and/or angry and aggressive.

When you think about the situation like this, then the obvious next question is this: How can you find the right kind of “school” to go to?  And how can you choose the best option for you?

I work hard to help you with those questions by posting on this website the most comprehensive range of information we can about the kinds of counselling and psychotherapy services that I provide. 

Contact me today…Or click the link below to get more information about me:

Dr-Jim-photo-cover002Dr Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling, with more than 22 years experience of helping more than 1,200 clients, with all kinds of problems, from anger and anxiety, to depression, stress and trauma; and including couples therapy; attachment problems; and personality adjustments.

Telephone: 01422 843 629

Email: Dr Jim’s email address

For more information, please go to Dr Jim’s Counselling and Psychotherapy Division.***

About Dr Jim Byrne

Or take a look at this page: Coping with anger, anxiety and trauma in the era of Covid-19…

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If you are looking for Renata Taylor-Byrne’s Coaching Division, please take a look at her new website, here: ABC Coaching Services, Hebden Bridge.

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ABC Counselling and Psychotherapy is the original division of ABC Coaching and Counselling Services, 27 Wood End, Hebden Bridge, HX7 8HJ, UK. Established in 1998. This division is run by Dr Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling (University of Manchester, UK: 2003-2009). Telephone: 01422 843 629 (from inside the UK); and 44 1422 843 629 (from outside the UK).

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ABC Coaching was the next division to be formed, in 2010. This is a specialist lifestyle and life history coaching division. This division is run by Renata Taylor-Byrne; a well-established professional coach with a teaching and counselling background. Telephone: 01422 843 629 (from inside the UK); and 44 1422 843 629 (from outside the UK).

All the material on this website is copyright (c) Jim Byrne and Renata Taylor-Byrne, 2021.

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ABC Bookstore was the third division to be formed, in 2014.  Through that division we research and write books linked to personal development and self-help.

For self help books, or therapeutic books, please go to https://abc-bookstore.com

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