Anxiety counselling – Hebden Bridge

“Live your life in day-tight compartments.  Do not cross any bridges until you come to them”.

Dale Carnegie, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

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Anxiety counselling in Hebden Bridge:

Understanding and managing anxiety

Copyright (2017) by Jim Byrne and Renata Taylor-Byrne

February 2017

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Definition

image-12-anxietyAnxiety is a kind of fear of the future – or fear of future threats and dangers.  It is not all in the mind.  It is a whole body-brain experience, and it can be controlled and eliminated with the right kind of combination of alternative health and psychological counselling interventions.

The E-CENT theory of anxiety says that we are born with an innate sense of fear: (Darwin, 1872/1965; and Panksepp, 1998).  Babies begin to display a pronounced sense of fear from about the age of six or seven months.  This sense of fear is of something that is present – like loud noise; a furry animal; something that looks like a snake; etc.  In time, we learn to feel anxious, which is to say, fearful about things that are not present, but which we ‘think-feel’ (consciously and/or non-consciously) might represents threats and dangers just a little while in the future.  Many fears begin in childhood.  For example, as one psychologist writes:

“I have experienced such (anxious) emotions myself… My parents divorced when I was four, and although detailed memories of the separation and disruption are foggy, one memory is as clear to me now as it was those late nights and early mornings while lying awake: I had an almost vertigo sense of spiralling down and shrinking into my bed, as the room I was in expanded outward in all directions, leaving me feeling ever smaller and insignificant, frightened and anxious, about.. well … everything, including and especially being loved.  And although the ever-shrinking-room experience has mercifully receded, today there are still too many late nights and early mornings when lost-love anxieties return to haunt me, emotions that I usually wash away with productive work or physicl exercise, sometimes (but not always) successfully”.

Michael Shermer, The Believing Brain…

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People feel different intensities of anxiety, depending upon the seriousness of the threat or danger that they are anticipating, and how that degree of seriousness interacts with their felt sense of ‘coping capability’.  And people who are anxious tend to worry endlessly.  This, of course, does not help, as shown by Dr Tom Miller:

“Worry is a magical attempt to control something which cannot be controlled by worry!”

Dr Tom Miller.

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But also, note, that worry is not ‘all in the mind’, and that you often have to work on your body to wash the stress hormones out of your system, before you can begin to relax and stop worrying.

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counselling-session7The less serious the inferred threat is assumed to be, and the more coping capability we sense that we have, then the lower our intensity of anxiety is likely to be. (Our coping capability seems to be a combination of physical solidity or confidence; emotional stability and optimism; and security of attachment.  And these capabilities are fed by a whole range of lifestyle factors, including: healthy diet, regular physical exercise, relaxation/meditation, social connection, adequate sleep, and so on).  And how we manage our own performance in our social relationships also has a huge payback, either negative or positive:

“If you trade your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief.” 

Brené Brown

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On the other hand, the more serious the inferred threat is assumed to be, and the less coping capability we sense that we have, then the higher our intensity of anxiety is likely to be.

REBT theorists distinguish between anxiety (which is intense) and concern (which is much less intense); and some others theorists distinguish between anxiety (which is helpful) and panic (which is unhelpful): (Kashdan and Biswas-Diener (2015))[1]. In E-CENT counselling we do not go along with those kinds of distinctions.

natajim-coaching-counsellingWe see our clients as having a range of anxious-feeling potential,  from very low to very high; and we normally work with clients whose anxiety level is high or very high, and our aim is to help them to reduce it until it is low, or very low. But they will never get rid of it; nor should they try to do so, as we need each of our basic emotions.  What needs to be reformed is how those basic emotions became socialized! We each need to re-learn how to emote, as we become adults, so that we behave appropriately with those people with whom we work, rest and play.

“The largest part of what we call ‘personality’ is determined by how we’ve opted to defend ourselves against anxiety and sadness”.” 

Alain de Botton

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And courage often seems to be a big part of the solution to problems of anxiety.  But courage is not a mere act of will.  It is easier to be courageous when we’ve washed the stress hormones out of our bodies.

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We can help you with your problems of anxiety, in a relatively brief period of time:

Jims-counselling-div2Jim’s Holistic Counselling and Psychotherapy Division***

If you need my help, then please contact me today:

01422 843 629, from inside the UK.

44 1422 843 629 from outside.

Email: drjwbyrne@gmail.com

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Blue-logo7Renata’s Lifestyle Coaching and Counselling Division***

Would you like me to help you to clarify and resolve any of your lifestyle problems?  Is so, please call me today:

01422 843 629, from inside the UK.

44 1422 843 629 from outside.

Email: renata4coaching@btinternet.com

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Telephone counselling for anxiety

If you cannot get to Hebden Bridge to see one of us, you can consult one or other of us over the telephone system from any part of the world.

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Panic problems

We also work with clients whose anxiety gets out of control, and becomes panic – which we conceptualise as anxiety about anxiety about anxiety – spiralling out of control.  And we teach panicky clients the following guidelines:

(1) Accept your panic as your own creation (embrace it rather than trying to push it away.  You cannot push your own agitated lungs and guts away!)

(2) Recognize that panic passes in a matter of a couple of minutes, so ‘play a waiting game’.  And:

(3) Take yourself outside and lean against a wall; focus on your breathing, and make your outbreath longer than your inbreath.  You can guess at that, or you can count your outbreath to the count of eleven, and your inbreath to the count of seven.  Or, if that’s too complex, breathe out for a much longer period that you breathe in. Try to empty your lungs completely.

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“I had the chance to make every possible mistake and figure out a way to recover from it. Once you realize there is life after mistakes, you gain a self-confidence that never goes away.” 
Bob Schieffer, This Just In: What I Couldn’t Tell You on TV

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Not only is there life after mistakes, but also after fears, frights, apprehensions, and worries.  Life goes on, and new hope and new possibilities can always emerge! Our ‘spooks in dark corners’ can be illuminated and eliminated!

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E-CENT counselling for anxiety

For the treatment of anxiety, we employ a whole range of strategies which impact the body-brain-mind-environment of the anxious client.

Our approach is a form of talk-therapy, but it often involves talking about the actions to take, the things to do, and the things to stop doing, in order to feel less nervous, tense, apprehensive, and under threat.

stop-worrying-by-dale-carnegie-copyLive your life in day-tight compartments. 

Do not cross any bridges until you come to them.

There’s no use crying over spilled milk. 

“…the best possible way to prepare for tomorrow is to concentrate with all your intelligence, all your enthusiasm, on doing today’s work superbly today. That is the only possible way you can prepare for the future.”

Dale Carnegie, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

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We teach a self-help approach, which does not depend upon medication, and which is cheap and easy to implement on your own.  We teach you how to become your own anxiety counsellor, so you can manage your own condition without constant support from us – once you have gained what you need from us.

If you need help with problems of anxiety, fear, panic, stress or strain, then contact us today to arrange an appointment in Hebden Bridge, or a telephone counselling session from any part of the world.

Best wishes,

Jim Byrne and Renata Taylor-Byrne

Jims-counselling-div2Jim’s Holistic Counselling and Psychotherapy Division***

If you need my help, then please contact me today:

01422 843 629, from inside the UK.

44 1422 843 629 from outside.

Email: drjwbyrne@gmail.com

~~~

Blue-logo7Renata’s Lifestyle Coaching and Counselling Division***

Would you like me to help you to clarify and resolve any of your lifestyle problems?  Is so, please call me today:

01422 843 629, from inside the UK.

44 1422 843 629 from outside.

Email: renata4coaching@btinternet.com

~~~

~~~

[1] Kashdan, T. and Biswas-Diener, R. (2015) The Power of Negative Emotion: How anger, guilt and self-doubt are essential to success and fulfilment. London: Oneworld Publications.

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