Couples Therapy Hebden Bridge

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Couples therapy and relationship counselling, coaching and psychotherapy all over the world via the telephone, or Skype/Zoom/webcam

“This service is a unique innovation in the field of couples therapy and marriage guidance”.

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Updated on 27th March 2021

“If you think couples therapy is expensive, you should check out the cost (financially and emotionally) of a divorce!”

“And if you assume that you can muddle through decades of unhappy marriage without incurring serious physical and mental health penalties, then you are very much mistaken”.

Dr Jim Byrne

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For the duration of the Coronavirus (COVID-19) crisis, I will be available for Telephone Counselling and Skype Counselling. And I plan to resume face-to-face counselling in Hebden Bridge on 22nd June 2021.

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There is a lot of research to support the conclusion that a good relationship will keep us happy and healthy.  The Harvard Grant Study – which is one of the most important sources of this conclusion – is summarized by Dr Robert Waldinger, who currently leads the study, like this:

“The clearest message we get from this 75 year study is that: good relationships keep us happy and healthier, period (or full stop!) … social connections are really good for us. … loneliness kills. People who are more socially connected to family, to friends and community, are happier, healthier, and they live longer. And loneliness turns out to be toxic.  High conflict marriages without much affection are very bad for our health – worse than getting divorced”.

Waldinger, quoted in Daniel Levitin’s book, The Changing Mind: A neuroscientist’s guide to ageing well.  Page 376.

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The research evidence shows that having a good relationship is a greater source of happiness than business success or personal wealth.

A happy marriage or couple relationship can only exist on one of two bases: Either…

1. You learned how to have a happy relationship in your family of origin, by copying your parents’ happy relationship;

Or:

2. You worked very hard, as an adult, to learn the knowledge and skills that are needed for successful couple communication based on loving-kindness, equality, forgiveness and peaceful cohabitation.

It cannot happen by an act of sheer will!  Or a strong desire. Nor can it happen because you try to manipulate it into existence.

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“A no-effort relationship is a doomed relationship, not a great relationship.  It takes work to communicate accurately and it takes work to expose and resolve conflicting hopes and beliefs.  It doesn’t mean there is no (sense that) ‘they lived happily ever after,’ but it’s more like ‘they worked happily ever after.’”

Carol Dweck

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Hello,

If you are looking for help with your marriage or couple relationship, then I can help you.

Dr Jim's office2My name is Jim Byrne, and I have more than twenty-two years’ successful experience of helping people who have marriage or couple relationships problems.  I have  a doctoral degree in counselling, from the University of Manchester, and I am a licensed fellow member of the International Society of Professional Counselors (FISPC).

I have also written two books on Couple Relationships, based on my research and practice.

I currently work with clients (individuals and couples) all over the world, via the telephone system and Skype/ webcam. (And I will resume seeing face-to-face clients in Hebden Bridge on 22nd June 2021).

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♣ “Dear Jim, Last Christmas I thought my marriage (to ‘Len’ [not his real name!]) was over.  … But, with your help, we’ve managed to rediscover the love we always had for each other, over many, many years, up to recently.  … It’s like going back in time, to happier days of love.  I am happier now than at any time in the past four years of strife”.

M.T., Howarth, West Yorkshire. (Four sessions of couples’ therapy for problems of relationship conflict and a drift towards separation).

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My approach to my work with clients involves ‘pure talk therapy’ combined with ‘bibliotherapy’.  Bibliotherapy means the client is given therapeutic literature to read, which is custom designed to address aspects of their problem(s). Therefore, the services on this page are only suitable for individuals who can learn well from written materials (combined with talk therapy).  If you do not learn well from written materials, then please go to my Pure Talk Therapy page, by clicking this link.***

I currently offer three levels of service for couples, as follows:

My main service: (45 minutes of talk therapy every month, combined with educational/informational (or bibliotherapy) follow-ups…

Telephone counselling image for mini-serviceThis service involves 45 minutes of Telephone or Skype/Zoom/webcam counselling, for one individual. Some couples have used this service by having individual partners attend alternate sessions, and then having a joint session. And of course, I have also had individual clients who come for couples counseling, but I never meet their partner.

– To be more specific: This service involves…

…one partner completing at least one (and normally two or thee) questionnaire;

…followed by an online meeting, for forty-five minutes (for one individual) – on a monthly basis – using Skype and a web camera, to discuss your current problem(s), and to try to identify some kind of solution or way forward.

…followed by my sending you information handouts every three or four days – between meetings – which contain advice and guidance on how to move forward with your particular problem(s). (Of course, there is no requirement for you to attend a second session, if you get the solution to your problem in one session).

Our conversation will be guided by your understanding of your problem(s) and by my theory of Emotive-Cognitive-Embodied Narrative Therapy (E-CENT), which considers that all of your problems are related to your whole body-brain-mind, and its links to your current environment, plus your childhood environment.

I take into account: personality adaptations (in childhood); attachment styles (in childhood and now); life script; diet; exercise; self-talk (or inner dialogue/philosophy of life); passive, aggressive and/or assertive behaviours; regular sleep pattern; plus your communication style, and conflict management approach; and much more besides.

At the end of our monthly meeting I will write a brief Session Review file note, and share it with you.  I will then begin to send you relevant handouts (of an educational/informational) nature, relevant to the problems we have discussed. I will send these handouts (to one individual) every three or four days.

The fee for this service is £180.00 per individual per 45 minute session – and this includes the cost of the 45 minute session, plus the bibliotherapy follow-up handouts.  (One way of thinking about this fee is that it is just £45.00 per week for a premium service).

Unsolicited client testimonial:

“Hi Jim, I’ve learned a lot from working through all the materials you’ve been sending to me over the past few weeks.  As we approach the end of the fourth week, I would like to make an appointment for a second session. … I think this service is great value for money, and your fees are well justified!”

V.F., Bradford, West Yorkshire. (One session of my main service, for personal and professional difficulties; including marriage problems).

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cropped-abc-coaching-counselling-charles-2019.jpgPlease phone me or email me to discuss setting up an appointment. I will pencil you into my diary.

Then I will send you and invoice for £180.00, (for one individual), or you can pay your fee directly into my bank account. And when your fee arrives, I will ink in your appointment.

Telephone: 01422 843 629 (from inside the UK)

Telephone: 44 1422 843 629 (from outside the UK)

Email address: Doctor Jim Byrne.***

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♣ “Good Morning Jim, I hope you and your wife are keeping well in these challenging times.  I wanted to drop you a line to give you some great news.  Frank and I have had a real break-through in our relationship.  He recently began to demonstrate his love for me in ways that had not happened for years. I was blown away! So here is my big thank you, and I will always be grateful to you for your great guidance and therapy.

K.D., Calderdale, West Yorkshire. (Four sessions of couples therapy).

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I also offer two services which involve a one-off meeting followed by a detailed analytical/ resourced report, as described below. (Analytical/ resourced means that (1) The report contains a detailed analysis of your couple problems; and (2) the appendices to the report contain the learning resources that you need to make the personal changes, and to learn the knowledge and skills, that will improve your relationship and move things in a positive direction).  Again, this service is for one person per session fee.

One-off meeting and report services…

Some clients prefer a one-off meeting, followed by a single analytical/resourced report, in which I outline my understanding of the nature of their relationship problem(s), combined with various suggestions for personal change, and learning experiences that they need to complete, in order to solve their problem(s). I include all necessary learning resources as appendices to my report.

I offer two levels of this service:

Telephone counselling image for median serviceLevel 1 – Brief Report: This involves meeting (one person) over the Telephone or Skype/Zoom, for a single 60 minute conversation or interview; preceded by the completion of at least two or three questionnaire by the client; and succeeded by the completion of at least two further questionnaires. I then dedicate two full days of my time to analyzing the client’s relationship problem(s), and identifying solutions and supportive resources.  Then I write my report, including providing the necessary learning resources in the appendices. Finally, I send that report to the client as an email attachment.

The fee for this service is £350.00 GBP (per one person’s report)

Some couples have used this service by having partner A attend the first session (for a fee of £350); partner B attend the second session (for a fee of £350); and then both partners attend a joint session of my main service (for a fee of £180.00 for the joint session).

I will ask you to complete at least two or three assessment questionnaires, so that I have a good understanding of ‘who you are’ and ‘how you are situated’ in your life.

This will help me to fine-tune my approach to communicating with you during our conversation, and also help me to understand your presenting problem in the light of how you tend to behave in your interpersonal world.

File note report, descriptionDuring this meeting, we will discuss your most important relationship problem(s), and explore potential solutions. And, at the end of our meeting, I will identify gaps in the information I have collected, and most likely ask you to complete at least a couple of further questionnaires. I will spend two days reflecting upon all the data I’ve collected from you; and I will then send you a file note report to help you resolve the problem(s) we have discussed. (For sample File Note Report, please click this link.***)

Please phone me or email me to discuss setting up an appointment.  I will pencil you into my diary.

Then I will send you and invoice for £350.00, or you can pay your fee directly into my bank account. And when your fee arrives, I will ink in your individual appointment.

Telephone: 01422 843 629 (from inside the UK)

Telephone: 44 1422 843 629 (from outside the UK)

Email address: Doctor Jim Byrne.***

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♣ Hi Jim, I think you’re a genius, the way you helped me with my anxiety, my relationship problems, and even my gut problem.  Your guidance and advice were invaluable. Nobody had been able to help me, up to seeing you.  Of course, I still have occasional low days, but most of the time I feel wonderfully well. I just cannot find the words to express my gratitude to you for the fact that I now feel at peace with my very difficult family background, and my recent relationship problems, and my anxiety and panic.  I am much more aware of my feelings and how to manage them. I have never felt so content and at peace in my life before, and it’s a great feeling.  I am a changed person because of your wisdom. Thank you so very much.

N.P., Halifax, West Yorkshire. (Fourteen sessions of face-to-face counselling for anxiety, attachment issues, family-of-origin problems, and couples therapy).

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Level 2 – Extensive Report: This service also involves meeting (one partner) over the Telephone or Skype/Zoom, for a single 60 minute conversation or interview; preceded by the completion of at least two questionnaires by the client; and succeeded by the completion of at least three further questionnaires, as appropriate. I then dedicate five full days of my time to analyzing the client’s problem(s), and identifying solutions and supportive resources.  Then I write my report, including providing the necessary learning resources in the appendices.  This report is then sent to the client as an email attachment.

The fee for this service is £700.00 GBP.

This service involves one partner only. There are three elements, as follows:Man on phone

  1. I will ask you to complete two or more pre-meeting assessment questionnaires;
  2. I will meet with you for 60 minutes, preferably over Skype/Zoom/webcam (but the phone is also a possibility). The purpose of this meeting is to collect more information about the problems you are encountering in your couple relationship; and:
  3. I will then write a substantial, post-meeting report, which digests your questionnaire data, and also what I learned about you from our face-to-face meeting. Maxi-service Report CoverThis report will contain a few of the most important insights and action suggestions that will help you to take your relationship forward in a positive direction with your relationship problems. And it will also normally include the educational or self-training resources that you will need in order to make any changes that are necessary to move you forward in your relationship.

(The total cost of this service is £700.00 – which includes the cost of five days of analysis, reflection and report writing).

For an illustration of the kinds of reports I’ve produced in the past, please see Sample Report Structure.***

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Conflict and healthThe overall cost to you for the services described above is quite modest.  (The average UK cost of a divorce in 2020 was £14,561; plus £35,000 for house move costs; plus…plus…and plus the emotional cost!)

Making an appointment and paying your fee

Please phone me or email me to discuss setting up an appointment.  I will pencil you into my diary for our agreed day and date of meeting.

Then I will send you an invoice for your service fee, or you can pay your fee directly into my bank account. And when your fee arrives, I will ink in your appointment.

On the appointed day of our meeting, please either…

– Skype me on jimbyrne232 (my Skype name); or:

Phone me on…

Telephone: 01422 843 629 (from inside the UK)

Telephone: 44 1422 843 629 (from outside the UK)

Email address: Doctor Jim Byrne.***

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For an illustration of the kinds of reports I’ve produced in the past, please see Sample Report Structures.***

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Receiving your reports

Maxi-service Report CoverWithin a few days of our meeting, I will send you my individualized report . In the case of unusual complications, or when my workload is high, this could take up to a week or eight days. When a couple signs up for this process, each of you will receive a personal report, which will be confidential to you.  I will not share your report with your partner.Report as personal insight

My reports will provide the basis for you (and your partner, where appropriate) to come to understand yourselves better – especially the dynamics that cause major problems in your relationship – and to make the personal changes that will move your relationship forward into a positive, rewarding, loving and enjoyable future.

For an illustration of the kinds of reports I’ve produced in the past, please see Sample Report Structure.***

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♣ “Dear Jim, We are very pleased with the result we got from the couples therapy sessions we had with you. Our problems are now largely resolved, and we are enjoying our relationship”.

O.A., Bradford, West Yorkshire. (Three sessions of couples therapy; combined with four sessions of individual therapy for one member of this couple).

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Staying together or splitting amicably

Of course, some couples will decide that the evidence of significant incompatibilities warrants a separation/divorce, rather than a repairing/rebuilding of their relationship; but armed with my reports they are more likely to achieve an amicable separation, which avoids exorbitant legal fees; and also sidesteps the heartache of protracted angry recriminations.

Whether you end up rebuilding your relationship, or taking it apart in a civilized, loving manner, which minimizes stress for all the parties involved (including any children!), I would consider either outcome to be a step up from the often hateful, vengeful, recriminatory splits that make life miserable for everybody.

Follow-up therapy sessions

Rewiring brain for happy relationships

After you have completed any of the above services, you may then want further support in the form of ongoing Skype or Telephone conversations.  At that point, the cost of further Skype or Telephone counselling sessions will be as follows:

      • 30 minutes of follow-up counselling: £120.00
      • 45 minutes of follow-up counselling: £180.00
      • 60 minutes of follow up counseling: £240.00

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If you’d like me to help you with your couple relationship, then please phone me on 01422 843 629, to set up a pencilled-in appointment (for yourself, and/or your partner).

Or email me at Dr Jim Byrne

For more information about me, please go to About Dr Jim Byrne.***

Or take a look at a collection of unsolicited testimonials that were sent to me by former and/or current clients.***

ABC Coaching Counselling Charles 2019Dr Jim Byrne

Doctor of Counselling

ABC Coaching and Counselling Services

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♣ Verbal feedback: “Every time we come to see you, our relationship gets better and better. We did not expect this. We have now reached a kind of comfortable plateau, and we don’t know if things will get any better. But we have talked about it, and we don’t know what you said or what you did to help us to get to this much nicer place in our relationship”.

Dr.A.D, North Halifax, West Yorkshire. UK. (Five sessions of face to face couples therapy).

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natajim-coaching-counselling
Jim Byrne and Renata Taylor-Byrne, happily married since 1986 – and happily coupled since 1980

Confidential reportIf you think it would be difficult to get your partner to participate in couples therapy, then please read the following advice on the Gottman Institute website: 5 Steps to Inspire Your Partner to Join You in Attending Couples Therapy.***

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