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Blog post: 7th February 2024

How to find your field of dreams!

The paradox of striving in a non-binary world

By Jim Byrne, 7^th February 2024

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Introduction

In this blog post, Dr Jim Byrne provides a deep and introspective exploration of the concept of surrender – (as that concept appears in a particular extract from the writing of Henry Miller, presented my Maria Popova) – versus striving to control the world. Plus the potential or likely impact of surrender or intentional willfulness on one’s life.

If you are stuck somewhere that you do not wish to be, this blog post could help you to find a way out.

The language and tone are reflective and thought-provoking, engaging the reader in an exploration of personal and philosophical concepts. But those concepts are all relevant to the question of how to Live the Good Life, especially in the context of career crises, and whether or not to rely on SMART Goals!

The author effectively weaves in personal experiences and references to philosophical and spiritual teachings to convey his message. The integration of personal anecdotes and philosophical insights creates a rich tapestry of thought, encouraging readers to contemplate the role (and meaning) of surrender in their lives.

Should we surrender to the “powers that be” – meaning the Powers behind the patterns of life? Or should we struggle to make progress?

Or is there a middle way?

The endnote provides valuable context and expands on the Stoic concept of Providence, enriching the reader’s understanding of the philosophical underpinnings of the author’s ideas. The content offers a unique and deeply reflective perspective on surrender and its implications for personal growth.

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The Tao – Zen Buddhism – Karma –

Goals – Material needs – Success –

According with the way of the world –

Acceptance – The oneness of oneself and the world –

The importance of morality…

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Jim Byrne writes:

I am grateful for everything I’ve been given by life.

Everything I have ever gained in my life has “come from nothing”.

It did not come from having SMART goals – although I have experimented with Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-bound goals from time to time in my life.

Often, in fact.

And I tried to seriously make them work. Sometimes they seemed to work, and sometimes they all too obviously failed.

And many great gifts have come into my life when I was too low to have a SMART goal!

They came as gifts, freely given. Unbidden. And unexpected!

While working intelligently towards my SMART goals, I have also had to learn the importance of patience; and persistence; and repetition or restating my goal.

The final attitude – the willingness to repeat or reassert my goal, after I have failed to achieve it – is also called “broken-record-ing of the world”. Or being like a broken record to the world: “Please let me have outcome X. Please let me have outcome X. Please let me have outcome X”. Or: “I am determined to achieve outcome X. I am determined to achieve outcome X. I am determined to achieve outcome X.”

Sometimes I’ve had better results from positive affirmations; and sometimes I’ve had good results from visualizing what I want to achieve or receive.

But more often than not, what I had in the background of my mind, as my navigation system – my vibrational Satnav – was this: A simple desire to be in a more peaceful, safer, kinder sort of place. A place of greater happiness and contentment.

That’s it: To be somewhere that has a low level of hassles and a high level of peace!

This is a more diffuse form of “goal setting” – I think of it as “Having a strong desire for a particular kind of outcome”. And that strong, emotional desire, acting below the level of daily awareness, seems to act like a steering device, in guiding me in making micro changes in the actions I take; the attitudes I adopt; and so on.

Of course, I do not shy away from the work that life asks of me, in order to get to my Shangri-La.

Sometimes I do feel discontented with my life; not much; and not often. Most often this happens when too many bills pile up, and not enough money comes into my bank account.

At such times, I have to work harder at trying to make sense of a world that will not routinely give me what I want; and which seems to throw me slightly more than my fair share of curve-balls; from time to time.

Then life throws me a lifebelt, to help me get out of the turbulent seas of unbalanced accounts. (And when I say, “life throws me a lifebelt”, I mean that life and I cooperate in the process of my navigation towards that lifebelt!)

Thus: I am grateful for stumbling across a blog post by Maria Popova, yesterday, on the subject of the letters exchanged between Henry Miller and Anais Nin. (I was looking for “a sign”; a better junction, with a better selection of crossroads; and up popped Maria Popova!)

Because some readers might have a fixed, negative view of Henry Miller, I thought I’d better do some work at understanding how Miller can be both an enlightened man and a figure of hatred or fear.

This is what I discovered: Henry Miller was a man of two “apparent halves”: A renowned sexual revolutionary and giant of modern literature, on the one hand, and a deeply spiritual Zen Buddhist acolyte, who achieved some degree of enlightenment in his life, on the other. His work could be read selectively to support either side of his personality/character, but I am only interested in his spiritual side, as explored by Jennifer Cowe, in her PhD Thesis, submitted to the University of Glasgow in 2016. (PhD Thesis: Killing the Buddha : Henry Miller’s long journey to Satori / Cowe, Jennifer, author. Glasgow: University of Glasgow, 2016.)

Now, back to Maria Popova’s blog: In her blog post, Popova quotes Miller as having written this statement:

“The paradox is that much of what we think is working at life — all the ways in which we try to bend reality to our will, all the ways in which we clutch at control (which only ever means the illusion of control) as an organizing principle — is in fact an escape from the true work, which is the work of letting go: letting go of the illusion, of the systems of belief and magical thinking by which we fancy ourselves in control. The subtlety — sometimes devastating, sometimes deeply rewarding — lies in learning the difference between the false work and the true work of life: that elusive art of active surrender.

“This is what Henry Miller (December 26, 1891–June 7, 1980) explores with uncommon self-awareness and sensitivity in one of the many miniature masterpieces of insight into human nature collected in A Literate Passion: Letters of Anaïs Nin & Henry Miller (public library) — the record of the layered and durable relationship between these longtime lovers turned lifelong friends, comrades in the republic of literature, kindred rebels against the tide of convention and the tyranny of circumstance, forever bonded by their shared devotion to shaping themselves and reshaping their world through writing.”

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Note: Miller writes about “active surrender” and Popova writes of him “shaping himself” and “reshaping the world” – both of which activities involve activity; and both of which result in intended change; so where then is the “surrender”?

Jim’s comments:

I surrender to the reality before me. I surrender to the intractable reality of having not enough money for the things I want to do and get.

I surrender to being the effect of certain causes; BUT I am also the cause of particular effects.

I accept the things I cannot change, and only try to change the things I can.

I actively surrender to uncontrollable tides that beset me. And keep an active eye out for a more favourable current!

Does that mean I am “a defeatist”?

No.

A defeatist is somebody who gives up while there is still a fighting chance to win.

I am a realist. I accept that certain facts are current facts, and no amount of wishing them away will have any effect upon them.

But that is perhaps why Miller’s concept of “active surrender” could be so helpful to all of us who are awake to our blocked ways forward. I surrender to what just happened; and then I ask, “What next?” (When the world says “No”! I say “Next”!)

In some respects I am screwed, financially; and in certain other respects, I have a lot of power to make things happen. And I have hope! I have a felt sense of desire for a better outcome in life! And I am willing to do whatever (morally good!) work I am asked to do, in order to get to where I want to go.

I can change myself by my writing efforts; and I can make my mark on the world by my writing efforts. (It may be a small mark, but even a small mark is a mark: “Jim was here!” [And who knows how big it might become, eventually!])

Indeed, in have changed myself dramaticaly over the past 40 years, to a significant degree because of my writing work. This is illustrated in my books; especialy:

1. How to Write a New Life for Yourself.

In this book I describe a number of individuals who changed their lives by the use of practical writing exercises, geared towards different objectives; such as: emotional processing; goal setting and goal pursuit; problem solving; and self-management; and more. There are more than 20 problem-solving exercises in this books. By writing every day, you can process your emoitons, and keep the “windscreen” of your life clear, so you can steer a better course through life!

For more, please visit the ABC Bookstore.

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And:

2. The Disconnected Heart of Daniel O.

In this book, I have written a psychoanalysis of my life, from birth to the age of forty years. I wrote it in the form of a fictionalized autobiography, using Daniel O’Beeve as my alter ego.

For more, please visit the ABC Bookstore.

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The law of Karma is the law of Cause and Effect. And sometimes I am the Cause, and sometimes I am the Effect. And when some cause outside of me impacts me – causing some effect upon me – how I respond is a new potential Cause of something positive, or something Negative. So we must be careful how we respond to external forces that Affect us. Do not make it worse by responding Negatively.

To respond negatively could be to say: “This is how it always is with me!”  Or: “Just my luck!”

That is a Very Negative conclusion. Better to say, “This is a ‘what’s so’. Better results may follow shortly! I live in hope!”

Be realistic, with a Positive twist.

I choose to say: “So I’ve been knocked down by life this time; but better days may be coming soon! Keep the faith! Stay hopeful. And keep on trying (to change the things you can – while accepting those things which are currently beyond your control!)

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Maria Popova’s blog post continued:

‘From his home in Big Sur, (Henry Miller) writes to (Anais Nin) in the spring of 1946:

When you surrender, the problem ceases to exist. Try to solve it, or conquer it, and you only set up more resistance. I am very certain now that… if I truly become what I wish to be, the burden will fall away. The most difficult thing to admit, and to realize with one’s whole being, is that you alone control nothing. To be able to put yourself in tune or rhythm with the forces beyond, which are the truly operative ones, that is the task — and the solution, if we can speak of ‘solutions’.”

What does this mean?

My (Jim’s) thought is this: When Miller talks about “surrender” he assuredly cannot mean “to surrender in the face of a problem that could be solved”. He must surely mean “to surrender in those cases where there is nothing else that can be done by you alone”. Which is nothing more or less than “accepting the things you cannot change”!

But what are those “forces beyond”?  This is outside of normal, science-informed reasoning. Are there “forces beyond” the known forces of the visible universe?

What are the “truly operative forces”? It seems to me that they are

– what Lau Tzu called “the Tao” – the Way of the World.

– What the Hindus and Buddhists called “the law of Karma”.

– What the Stoics called Providence^[1].

– And what science calls “the law of cause and effect”.

If I Actively surrender to Uncontrollable External Forces – and only try to Enact My Essential Being, in line with the Tao – the Way of the World – I am then not trying to control the Tao, or the Law of Karma. But I am also not “surrendering” in the passive sense of Giving Up on Life!

Somewhere in Shakespeare’s writings it is said that “there is a tide in the affairs of people, which, if taken at full flood, leads on to great things”.

That may well be what Miller meant by “the forces beyond”.

There is a tide in the affairs of human life which, if I align myself with it, can carry me to beaches I never expected to reach!

But my side of the deal is to Be Ready when the tide comes. And to Be Worthy of the Wave!

And the way Henry Miller tried to be ready, when the tide hit, was to write his best writing; to express his best values, attitudes or beliefs, on the written page, and in the process, he changed himself, and he may also have changed the probability of a particular tide hitting him, instead of bypassing him?

And he was brave enough to be informed by a muse which was out of step with contemporary culture at the time of his writing.

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But then, there is also another paradox: Miller wrote as follows: “I am very certain now that… if I truly become what I wish to be, the burden will fall away. The most difficult thing to admit, and to realize with one’s whole being, is that you alone control nothing.”

This does seem like a paradox: a self-contradiction:

1. I surrender.
2. I truly become what I wish to be.
3. The burden falls away.

“Riddle me that, me fine Falla!” as Flan O’Brien might say.

The Big Question: If I surrender, how can I do anything to become what I truly wish to be?

The only way to make that “come out right” is if I truly wish to be somebody who surrenders to “the forces beyond, which are the truly operative powers”.

So, he really is talking about a level of surrender beyond where I would normally venture. I “accept the things I cannot change; but I always keep on trying to change the things I can”.

He (Miller) surrenders to the “forces beyond”, and perhaps seeks to “serve them” in his writings.

Thus his paradox becomes resolved – and the “burden falls away”, because this is his solution:

1. I surrender.
2. I serve the forces beyond, as a surrendered writer.
3. The burden (of trying to control anything, other than being surrendered) falls away.

Is this too extreme?

Is this a solution?

Is this part of Miller’s “ego transcendence”?

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Popova continues: “(Miller) observes that when we don’t fully surrender to those currents of life larger than us, some part of (us), however suppressed, knows it.”

– Ah. This is a slightly different point (says Jim): The currents of life try to shift us, this way or that; and if we resist being moved in that direction, we are resisting life, (resisting the Tao, Karma, Providence), and some subconscious part of us knows it. And this has negative consequences.

(Again, a moral question enters here. It is wrong to resist the morally aligned currents that try to lift us up and carry us to new places; but it is also wrong to allow ourselves to be moved in immoral, or anti-social directions – where anti-social means going against the reasonable rules of a reasonable society!)

“Out of that quiet, gnawing knowledge arise the feelings of guilt that often haunt our days without an easily identifiable source — for the source lurks in those secret strata of being, half-opaque even to us. It is a wholly interior knowledge and a wholly interior guilt, impervious to outside judgment, independent of the external world. And yet, in our desperation to locate a source, we often project it outward and place it in others.” – Here he seems to be saying that, when we resist The Way, The Tao, the Current of Life, we pay a price in terms of bad feelings, discomfort, existential guilt. He seems to be saying that Life will call us to Artistic Endeavour, or Artistic Presentation, or to our Healing or Contributing Mission. And we resist that calling at our emotional peril; at the cost of our peace of mind; and of our happiness.

Could it be that, while our Little Mind is saying, I want the money, I want the status, I want the social approval, the Universal Way is saying, Get off the conveyor belt? Do your life’s Work! You are here for a Higher Reason than paying the bills!

If we are not “here for a higher reason”, what is the essential difference between a cow and a human being?

Between a dog and a man or woman?

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Miller goes on to say that people will misunderstand you, but we cannot afford to be influenced by those interpretations. And, anyway, when we give of our best, people often do get where we are coming from.

– Do not give in to the false imaginings of how others may rate us!

– Keep faith with your deepest self, and do your work. Your work of serving life; and your work of suffering in the process of serving. (But always keep an eye on your moral direction! [The ‘moral direction’ is highly important to Jim!])

Finally, Miller seems to make the point that all the things he most deeply desires come to him effortlessly, without struggle. All the struggle is just the work of the ego, trying to make itself comfortable by achieving those things which make it look good!

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So, what is the takeaway message? If I integrate what Maria Popova wrote; and what she quoted Henry Miller as saying; along with my own “collected wisdom”; then what that amounts to is this:

– Listen to the quiet muse that represents the Powers Beyond; the universal way; the Intelligence that Drives Evolution; God, if you like! Nature! Providence! The Tao!

– Work out your values, and only pursue goals (or aims!) that align with your values;

– Set your goals (or aims!), and function towards them intelligently – or wish for them fervently, while doing the work that life throws at you;

– But then – when nothing changes, or you get a worse result – accept the results that you get;

– And then set your goals (or aims!) again. (Round and round the loop of effort and reassertion).

– There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.

– Try, try, and try again. Do not compromise your values or your deepest desires.

– But make sure you are trying the right things; the things that may pay some bills, but which may also make your life meaningful; which help you to make a contribution to others; and which keep your stress level under control. And which might be applauded by the Powers Beyond.

– There is a favourable tide in the affairs of women and men. Do not resist it when it comes. Surrender to the Tao; to the Law of Karma. Go with the flow. (If you mainly operate from the Good Wolf side of your character, and resist immorality, your Karma is also likely to be Good; so go with it!)

– Accept the things you cannot change; and only try to change the things you can. Live in hope! Keep the faith! The Law of Karma is Supreme!

“We are actors in a play that the Manager directs!”

And remember the final lines of the Desiderata:

“And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him (or Her, or It) to be. And whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”

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When an old Zen master lay dying on his simple mattress, a squirrel screeched on the roof above. “This is it!” he said. “And nothing else!”

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Copyright (c) Jim Byrne, February 2024

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Endnote

[1] The Stoic idea of Providence is a central concept in Stoicism, a philosophy that originated in ancient Greece and was later developed in Rome. It is a belief in the divine plan and order of the universe, and the idea that everything that happens is part of that plan. According to the Stoics, Providence is the guiding force that governs the cosmos, and it is the source of all order and harmony in the universe.

The Stoics believed that everything that happens is determined by nature, and that human beings have no control over the events of their lives. This idea of determinism was a central part of Stoic cosmology, and it was closely linked to their ethical theory. The Stoics believed that the only thing that human beings can control is their own thoughts and actions. By accepting the idea of Providence, they believed that they could live in harmony with the universe, and that they could find peace and contentment in their lives.

Jim’s idea is that Providence is one end of a system, and the action of the socialized individual is the other end. The universal system is hugely powerful, and the individual is mightily outweighed. It is as if the socialized individual is a kind of cork in a torrential stream, heading down a steep incline. The cork can sleep while the stream carries it along, or it can wriggle, and scheme to try to move itself closer to one or other riverbanks, where it might be able to get out!

As a matter of fact, the most hardnosed scientist cannot prove that there is no such thing as free will. And the most romantic idealist cannot prove that free will exists. It makes sense, in such circumstances, to assume we have some “wriggle room” – and always “go for it”!

What have you got to lose?!

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