Blog Post – 10th January 2023
Couple relationships in adulthood are the core of human happiness; or the core of human misery
It depends on how well you manage your side of the relationship!
By Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling, and Couple Relationship counsellor, coach and psychotherapist
Belated New Year Greetings for 2023
If you already have a happy relationship, then you do not need to read this blog post.
This post is for those individuals whose lives are blighted by…
– being in an unhappy couple relationship;
– being unable to get into a happy couple relationship;
– or wanting to learn how to create, sustain and benefit from a happy, healthy, successful couple relationship (like a marriage, cohabiting relationship, or civil partnership).
Dr Jim in 2022: Happy as Larry!
I came from a family that did not know how to love. My parents had an arranged marriage, and they never learned to love each other. They also did not love their children, as persons. They brought us into the world for unconscious reasons, and cared for our bodies, but not our minds, hearts or souls.
Many individuals have sub-optimal (or “not good enough”) relationships with their parents; and/or have parents who do not love each other. And our experience of the first five to ten years of our lives provides for us a lifelong template for “what a relationship is”; and “who I should marry when I grow up” – somebody like mum; or somebody like dad.
And there, my friends, is the nub of the problem. We are doomed to repeat, non-consciously, and as creatures of habit, the kinds of unhappiness we saw between our parents; and the kinds of unhappiness that we felt when we interacted with our mum and/or dad.
But there is a way out of the trap. And I have been refining a process to help you to escape, ever since I personally escaped, from 1984 onwards.
Jim and Renata on their happy wedding day, in 1986
I now have a delightfully happy marriage to my best friend, which is the foundation for a wonderful life in the present moment.
I can teach you how to escape from the “script” you wrote for yourself, under the negative influence of parents who were not good enough as models for happy relationship.
Please take a look at the following pages:
– The Evolution of my Couples Therapy approach: https://abc-counselling.org/couples-therapy-relationship-counselling-hebden-bridge/
– Individual Counselling for Couples Therapy problems: https://abc-counselling.org/individual-counselling-for-couple-relationship-problems/
Or take a look at my books on How to Build or Improve your Couple Relationship: http://abc-bookstore.com/couple-relationships-and-love-bonds/
If you continue to do what you learned in your family of origin, you will continue to get the kind of unhappiness that has brought you to this page!
I wish you every success in learning how to re-program yourself for a happier life.
And I can help you to do that! Based on almost forty years’ study of love and relationships.
Dr Jim Byrne
Doctor of Counselling, Couple Relationship specialist
And all over the world via Skype and the telephone system.